One warm summer night my wife and I attended a Double A minor league baseball game with another couple.  The stadium was cozy and clean, and unlike some big league stadiums, this one seemed to offer a real up-close and personal feel as we watched the action.  Because the players were not as familiar as those on the major league rosters, there were constant promotional gimmicks to keep the crowd interested and upbeat.  I had never been to a minor league game before, so this was a fun departure from other experiences.

As one player entered the on-deck circle to await his turn at bat, I recalled a newspaper article touting him as the next can't miss prospect.  His contract had been picked up in a trade and he was spending his first week with this team, having spent parts of that same season with two other teams.  The fellow looked glum to me as I observed the robotic way he loosened up, and I wondered to myself what he must have been thinking.
 
I leaned over to my wife and the other couple and said, "This kid is barely twenty-one years old and here he is with his third team of the season.  He had to leave his family and close friends behind and just as he starts getting acclimated to new surroundings, he's shipped off to a completely different part of the country. I'm guessing he must struggle with loneliness a good bit of the time."  
 
In unison, the other three looked at me with quizzical stares, then my wife said, "You must be the only person in this stadium who thinks like that.  Just enjoy the game!"  I simply grinned and then cheered for the lad as he took his turn at bat.  He got a double, and I assumed that for a while he enjoyed a respite from those lonely feelings I mused about.
 
Every one of us is similar in the sense that we are prone to unwanted emotions.  Each person on Planet Earth is capable of feeling lonely, angry, insecure, guilty, disillusioned, and the like.  What makes each person unique is the context in which he or she experiences those emotions. 

At the ball park that evening I did not feel lonely and it would have seemed out of place for me to complain about such an emotion since I was in the company of a supportive wife and long time friends.  At the same time, it would have seemed unusual (to me, at least) if the baseball player stated that he never felt such an emotion, given the fact that he was mingling with strangers, that his home life was in flux, and that he was in such a state of ambiguity regarding his young career. 
 
When you encounter others who experience varying emotions, are you capable of interpreting them within the context of their life circumstances?  For instance, suppose I told you that a twenty-five year old lady was struggling with sexual promiscuity, and despite being mentored by a loving older friend, she had difficulty maintaining relationship boundaries.  Many would be inclined to shake their heads, wondering why she couldn't get her act together.  But then let's suppose that I added that her father had abandoned her in early childhood and her mother had died in her teens, leaving her to finish adolescence shuffling among distant relatives who offered little adult guidance.  You would probably be willing to amend your impression of her, showing more patience and compassion. 
 
Putting people into the context of life experiences makes an enormous difference in the ways we respond their feelings and behaviors. 
 
I suppose the most difficult time to put people into context is when the other person is feeling angry and the object of that anger is you.  Rather than taking the time to consider why that individual is struggling as he or she is, it is more common to just respond with knee-jerk defensiveness. Could you instead consider the extenuating circumstances?

For instance, let's suppose a wife is edgy toward her husband because of a disagreement about disciplining their child. Rather than rejecting his perspective, she could put his response into the context of his own history with his parents, with the type of day he's been through, with the recent history of run-ins with the child, and so on.  Likewise, he could appreciate her separate experiences with the child, understanding that she is drawing upon episodes that do not fully match what he has had with the youngster.

To put others into proper perspective, you'll need to lay aside the assumption that the world should revolve around your unique interpretations. Likewise, you will need to be patient enough to contemplate the other person's world view.  And you would need to prioritize empathy over correctness.  You could still operate with resolve, yet it would not be of the condescending variety.

Communicating with perspective requires an attentive mind and a willingness to think outside your own box, and at first it may feel unnatural. But the net result tends to be fewer arguments and greater connections.  Taking time to read into another's feelings and perceptions can alleviate non-productive verbal sparring matches.