Dear Dr. Carter: My seven year old daughter is a TV junkie. She watches TV whenever she is home with free time. When I try to tell her to stop watching, she’ll just go to another part of the house and watch a different TV. No amount of pleading can make her obey. What can I do?

Dr. Carter: It seems to me that the wrong person is calling the shots at home. I know that TV can prove to be a powerful lure for kids, which is why they need parents to help them apply the restraint that is not natural to them. Don’t plead, use consequences. It is reasonable to put limits on the amount of time she will get to spend watching approved shows (say, one hour per day, if that much). When she chooses to disobey, then let her know what privileges she will forfeit. When she predictably complains, don’t bargain with her or argue the legitimacy of your position. Be calmly firm and let her know that you will follow through on the consequences. When she tries to pull a run-around by going to a different part of the house to watch TV, that immediately is met by a consequence. (e.g. when she will not cooperate, she will lose TV privileges for the next day.)

Your daughter needs you to be firm and she actually will feel more insecure if you don’t show firmness. Perhaps you are reluctant to be as firm as necessary because of a need to be seen as a “good guy.” Remember, she needs you to be her parent, not a coddler who is afraid to hurt her feelings.